That magic that I talked about in my last post, turns out it was just glitter that got in my eye. Shame isn't it.
But before I jump into things, I'll catch you up on my adorable monsters. They are all still alive and as talkative as ever. They are growing up right before my eyes, yet they still have the ability to drive me up the wall. As the year is winding down, I find end of year testing staring me in the face. As the older grades have to do SAGE testing (used to be CRT's) first and second grade get kicked out the computer labs and are left to fend for ourselves. Finding myself with no specialties to distract my students, there have been some extremely long days. Thankfully we still have P.E. Mondays. 45 glorious minutes to plan in quiet peace. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore my class, but anyone would go crazy after 6 1/2 hours with 6 & 7 year old with only you to entertain them for days on end.
I am definitely looking forward to taking next Friday off of work to GRADUATE from COLLEGE! It is finally here. Although I haven't really felt like a college student since last summer since my class in the fall was once a month and then I didn't have to take any classes in the Spring. Although I have felt the disappointment from my fellow graduates, I will not be walking. I don't really see the point to go sit for three hours to still not get my degree certificate until they mail it to me 2 weeks later. I will be taking myself to lunch and hopefully spend the day in the wonderful company of my family. It is surreal. I was in school for so long and then jumped head first into my career. Walking just seems, unimportant. Sorry guys.
Anywho, back to my class. They have grown so much the past couple months. I completely changed the way I run small groups and they are going so well. My amazing reading specialist has really taken me under her wing and in all honesty, has changed my life. She came into my classroom when I was at such a low and turned around my attitude. Not only have my kids grown, but I have found out who I am. I am someone who can accomplish hard things and can look adversity in the eye, and come out stronger. I thought I had some idea of what I was getting into when I accepted my internship, but I have NO IDEA what actually was waiting for me. This has been the hardest year of my life, and yet here I am. Alive, well, healthy, and with a smile on my face.
Alright, onto the boy I wrote about in my last post. He was like a coconut cake. Pretty to look at, a nice treat to have sitting on the counter, but when it came to actually partaking of it and keeping it, I couldn't do it. For those of you who don't know, I hate coconut. Valentine's Day came around and he and I went to Tucanos for dinner. That place was amazing! We then went back to his house where he proceeded to propose. I was shocked. He had joked about doing it, but I had no idea he actually would. I said yes though my head was hesitant. It was a gorgeous sapphire ring set in white gold. After being engaged almost a month and having quite a few things planned, I realized I couldn't go through with it. He and I were just too different and would have ended up miserable in a few years. I promise, I wasn't being selfish or difficult. I finally saw what he was actually like, and realized, I need someone with the same foundation as me. So, I gave back the ring after he said some not so nice things and walked out. To my dismay, he never tried to contact me again. Supposedly he wanted to marry me and loved me, just not enough to fight for me. It stung a little at the time, but now it honestly doesn't surprise me. This happened March 9th and by March 24th, I had found an apartment with my friend and moved out of my parents house. Within just a couple months, I had a lot happen and found myself growing again.
Now, life is life and I still have the same struggles as before. Patience. With the school year ending, so does my one year contract and here I am looking for a new position at a different school. I applied at the school I am working at now, but they went with someone else. That was a hard blow and tripped me up for a couple days. I have been through 6 interviews so far and hopefully find my dream school soon. I am not looking forward to taking my classroom apart and having to take it elsewhere, but I will do it with a heavy heart. When the school year first started, I was counting down the months till I would be done, and now that the deadline is coming, I don't want it to end. I will miss my kids so much and the people I have gotten to know have changed my life.
As this journey continues, it will be interesting to see how I continue to grow and find myself even more. Turns out what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. Except polio.
