A Wedding........Not Mine

In 42 short hours my family will be setting up for my brother's wedding at Louland Falls. Its exciting and wonderful and brings tears to my mothers eyes to have her oldest son get married. My wonderful brother has two darling children who I absolutely adore and they are about to get a brother that both of them love with all their hearts. My brother met his soon to be wife in middle school. They knew each other throughout high school, but as life often happens, they went their separate ways. 16 years later they reconnected and BAM here we are. The flowers are bought, the cake is almost done, the setting up and decorating is all happening Monday. As a future elementary teacher I was put in charge of (drum roll please) the children's table. I took pictures of my brother and his fiancé and each of them with their kids and created coloring pages for the children to color. I also am creating an I Spy page that hopefully will keep the kids engaged and not asking their parents, "Is it over yet??"
While preparing for the wedding, Monday weddings are not the typical thing. And we heard over and over of how it isn't typical. One well meaning seasoned woman pointed out that no one was going to come because it is on a Monday and well, this simply wouldn't do. She told my soon to be sister in law that she simply would just have to change the day of the wedding. As taken back as my sister in law was, she calmly replied this wouldn't be possible. After the wised woman again said a Monday wedding just wouldn't do, my sister in law said the magical words that turns everyone into your biggest ally. She explained that my brother is special forces Navy and he is between training while getting ready to be deployed next year. This immediately changed this experience-ladened woman into an extraordinary help. I am so proud of my brother and for the sacrifices he has made to help this wonderful country. He is my hero. I am so touched to  be a part of their big day and hopefully the  weather won't be too hot!

A square peg will Never fit in a round hole

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, life is out of our hands. Sometimes prayers aren't answered the way we expect or hope they will, sometimes we don't get swept off of our feet, sometimes we don't look like the magazines say we should, and sometimes, we feel like what is the point.

And sometimes, I think way too much

 

Since the day we are born, we are bombarded with how life "should" be. The perfect "happily ever after" that starts with the breathtaking "once upon a time." The way we should look and how life should be, should be just like this photo shopped picture. For the most part, I think most people realize this is impossible. This dream life is just that, a dream. It is the food of daydreams, the hopes of the heart, and the fantasies of the mind. A simple conversation, a single date, a few soulful glances makes the wheels of the mind twist and turn until we have created a situation so elaborate that nothing in real life can live up to the expectations. Sometimes, it comes close, a few minutes, hours, or even a few weeks can convince the mind that the heart was right all along; that these types of situations DO happen in real life, until we wake up and our world does a complete 180 spin.

 

Then, we are back to the square peg and the round hole. No matter how hard we shove, plead, beg, bribe, or persuade- the peg isn't going into the hole. We have two choice, we can sand down the peg, soften the edges, change its shape, or we can wait until we find the square hole. 



Later Gator Procrastinator

So close to a weekend of freedom and, yet, I have no motivation whatsoever to do this assignment. Sadly it is one that I have known about for about a month and yes, its due tomorrow, and yes, I'm just getting started on it. We would have some teachers that would tell us to let our group know if we were early birds or later gators. I always like to think I am an early bird, buuuuut, this isn't the case. I mean I just find so many "good" excuses as to why this other thing is so much more important than a little paper to write. Lately my brain has be SO scattered which doesn't help at all. I seriously feel ADD the past few days. Every other moment is a squirrel moment and if someone else was in my head, they would probably get dizzy.
To calm this storm in my head, last night I went to the LDS temple to do baptisms for the dead and to feel some peace. After almost two hours of waiting, I didn't expect THAT much peace, I got some answers. And they weren't answers I expected. We all know by now that patience isn't a strength of mine. The last time I was at the temple and got the answer to my question of give it time. I thought it was applying to that situation in particular. But, last night, I discovered it wasn't.
My problem is this...... (don't laugh) I have so many friends that are married, engaged, and becoming parents already that sometimes I wonder if this is meant for me too. In our crazy society that believes the key to happiness is marrying young and fast, I feel out of place. I also feel that by the time I grasp the concept of wanting to be married, I won't know where to find someone to love me for me. Ha I know it sounds crazy but here is how I see it, I am not meeting any eligible men in my profession being a teacher, summer school doesn't really attract crowds of people, and singles wards make me not want to attend church. I know, I know its all in my head and insane way of thinking but there it is. Plain and simple. I am going to be a spinster with my wonderful friend Clarissa. And no cats are allowed in our tiny spinster cottage.

One of Those Days

Today has been one of those days. Not bad necessarily, but not exactly one for the record books to take account of. After finishing an assignment that took way longer than it ever should have I scrubbed my bathroom and got ready for work. Before work I went and got gas for my car (Cindy was too close to empty for my comfort) and then went to Target. Sometimes I feel like I should be banned from Target, but inside I went. I purchased some wonderful ibuprofen and saw the chocolate sitting there. In my head, a voice said, "Get some, you are going to need it." and you know what. . .  It was right. Arriving at work, I found co-workers whose day had not been filled with happiness and joy. So, out came the chocolate and the sharing began. At the end of the day I had one co-worker whose day had just been, -sigh- one of THOSE days. I said what could I do to make you feel better? Do the running man across the lobby? And of course this was his choice even though I was partly kidding about ACTUALLY doing it. Thank goodness the lobby was closed for the day. After testing out if the carpet or the tile would work better, away I went. I have been told I do quite the impressive running man. To my enjoyment my co-worker started laughing and my other co-worker asked what in the world was going on. And when she saw, her laugher joined with his. They both said my dancing skills were quite impressive and I said ha No they aren't. But that wasn't the point, to show my dancing skills. The entire point was to brighten someone's day and make them laugh.
Mission Accomplished.
The point of this post?? It is this, my friends mean a lot to me. And their happiness plays a role in my happiness. If it takes me making a fool out of myself and doing the running man to get them to smile and add a little joy to their day, so be it.

Also, I have been told I give some AMAZING pep talks. If you are in need of one, just let me know. I have the ability to see things in others that they can't see themselves. Maybe because I would much rather focus on other people's problems than my own, but either way, you too can have some compliments coming your way. All you need to do is ask.

A Rose by Any Other Name Would Still Smell as Sweet

Life--- It's tough.
No one tells you when you are little to take advantage of the simple things. We are so focused on growing up, being adult, being able to do all the things our parents won't let us do. I think we forget to tell children to be children. I think we also don't realize how much they can teach us. Their innocence, playful attitude, and ability to be constantly happy is something I hope to incorporate into my life more.
No, I don't want to act like a child (though I probably do sometimes) but I want to embrace each day as a gift. I want to find the sunshine in the dark room, the quarter stuck between the couch cushions, and the last skittle in the bag when you think it is empty.

I am blessed. Immensely. I have some of the most amazing friends a girl (or anyone) could ask for. I wish there was a word that meant more than a friend, but I'm stuck at what it would be. We say the word best friend, yet I have quite a few of them. They have qualities that set them above most and I have been blessed to surround myself with extraordinary people. I have friends who see through the mask of happiness. I know these people genuinely care about me and my happiness. I hope they know I care about them too. With having moved as much as I have, I can say I have had a lot of friends, yet not a lot of friends that have stuck around for years. Usually for the duration of a couple years, or however long I live in one location, that is how long I have a certain set of friends. When I hear people talk about friends they have had since elementary school, it blows my mind a little bit. I become a little envious that they know this one person inside and out, completely, and they have stuck by each other for over a decade. That type of friendship is rare and should be cherished. Since graduating high school, the number of people I still keep in contact with could be counted on one hand. Some might say this is sad, but I realize this is the longest I have had a friend and I see it as an achievement. To be able to say I have known this person for 5 years and to say they have put up with me is amazing. The people I have met and the people that have come into my life points to there being something more out there. No, I won't get all religious on you, but I know for a fact that these people were sent to cross paths with me for a reason.

Qualities of my best friends that I adore:
They make me laugh, even when I don't want to
When I say I need a break from homework they immediately say where are we meeting?
They text me out of the blue
They dig deeper when my flippant answer isn't good enough
They see through the façade
They challenge me and push me to be better
They are my biggest supporters
They know exactly what to say to make me feel better
They give AMAZING hugs
Silence is never awkward
They dish out compliments like a buffet
They put up with my rantings
I know they love me by the small acts of kindness they perform
They have transformed from friends into family

That white powder on my porch, I promise, it's not drugs

A week of eating gluten free and I'm still alive! At first it was such a challenge, but everyone has been such a ginormous support. My lovely, wonderful, caring, beautiful, talented mother works at Honeyville Grains. This is an immense blessing in my life. She has access to so many different grains that are all GLUTEN FREE! Unfortunately these grains come in 50lb bags that we put into buckets for easier transportation. This creates a huge mess and is best done outside so that the flour doesn't get into the carpet. So, no, that white powder all over my porch is not drugs. Though my mother wonders if our neighbors think we might be. I said if we had enough drugs to spill that much and not care, we wouldn't be living in this neighborhood, oh wait, unless we're really bad drug dealers and spill it everywhere, then yes, we would be living here.

Today I was able to cook with tapioca starch, rice flour, and corn starch to create an UN-flour and make BISCUITS! I wasn't sure how they would turn out. When making things that are gluten free you need a key ingredient called xanthan gum. This creates the same type of reaction that gluten does to create volume and viscosity in your baking. Thankfully I had acquired some of this Saturday and away we went. Add a little bit of this, pinch of that, and a smidge of love (and desperation). After the mixing was done, the dough smelled good and that was a great sign! Raise for 20 minutes, bake for 20 minutes and TA-DA. I pulled them out of the oven and they were golden brown, smelling delicious, and as I flipped them over, one went skidding across the counter. Don't worry, he didn't escape. I cracked one open as the steam escaped its golden shell. Spread a little butter, take a breath, and take a bite.

Oh my goodness gracious. It was delicious! My sister was standing right there watching me going, WELL?? Can I have one? She took one for herself, took a bite and had the same reaction I had. These are amazing! My entire family really liked them which is amazing for me! I have access to bread now! I can make SANDWICHES!! I love sandwiches by the way.

This is such an affirmation to me that I can succeed at this and still eat delicious food while eating gluten free. Gluten free can be an expensive way to live, but all these little tricks I'm learning,

I will survive, you can bet on it.