Pretzels, Bagels, Toast, Salad Dressing--Gone

Day 2 of not eating gluten.
 I've had some symptoms lately that may be caused by gluten intolerance so, with the aid of my wonderful mother, I am trying out gluten free eating. It is so much harder than you think. Those out there who are gluten intolerant, my hat is off to you. There are so many times a day that I think, "Ooo this sounds good. Nope it has gluten in it." I know there are so many options out there for gluten free food, but this little lady has been so busy that I haven't tried to make any gluten free recipes. Most of the time its look in the fridge, look in the pantry, alright, watermelon it is. This diet is helping me eat a lot more fruits and vegetables which is good, but being only day 2, I am kind of hungry. I am really hoping going gluten free with dissipate the symptoms I am having, but at the same time, I am kind of hoping not to be gluten intolerant because lets face it, it would be easier. I have some wonderful friends who have developed gluten intolerance who have been amazing with advice. I again am amazed at the people I am surrounded by and am so grateful for them.
 As I go throughout my day I will all of a sudden think of a food and hurry to look it up and see if it is gluten free. Thank goodness for google.

But, on an off topic, Why have I been so busy? Well let me outline yesterday for you and you'll see.
6 am- wake up to get ready for school
7am- leave for school to catch the train
9am arrive at school
9-12:40- class
12:40-3 my elementary school to help with end of year things
3:15- home for 2.5seconds to get some lunch
4-7:15 work
7:30-7:45 get papers together
7:45 leave for Farmington to give a Math and Literacy Lesson to a wonderful future nephew
11pm- FINALLY home
I was exhausted but am so grateful to have gotten all of that done. I should have done my final project for my differentiation class last night but hey, that is what the train ride this morning was for right?

Patience of a Bomb

Patience, it is NOT one of my strengths. Which you may wonder why in the world I am going into teaching then if I have no patience. It is the strangest thing, I have little patience for most things, but with children, I have all the patience in the world. Weird, I know. Don't ask me to explain it because if I knew why, I would change it so I could have patience with everyone. My entire family and most of my friends know this is something I struggle with everyday. I once had a friend ask me if I was praying for more patience and to that I replied, "Nope. I got tired of being presented with opportunities everyday to show patience and everyday, I would fail. I stopped praying for patience because I didn't want any more opportunities to fail." Sad I know, but the truth.
The past couple days, I have been in a situation that deals strictly with patience, and it is KILLING me. At least once an hour, this situation comes to mind and it is followed with the thought have patience. And that is followed with ugh. I hate patience. When discussing this situation with my sister I got to the part of the story where I said this would help me develop patience and that was met with laughter and uh oh. Its crazy how well she knows me.
All my life I have heard that good things take time and are worth waiting for. I believe in my heart that this is a good thing, so I'll wait. It will be a struggle everyday, but I really hope it will be worth it. I believe myself to be a logical smart person. I don't rush into things and I take the time to think things through. So, if my head and heart believe this is what is right, and good, then I will use every single ounce of self-control I posses (this is a lot actually) and be patient. I will immerse myself in a book that won't really soak in just to give my mind something else to think about.

The bad parts about being Me:

Daydreaming

Overthinking

Overanalyzing

Worrying

Questioning

Thinking about 40 bijillion things at once

Not being able to turn your brain off

Daydreaming

Addiction to chocolate

Addiction to pretzel goldfish

Obsession with socks

Addiction to blankets

Daydreaming

Slight ADD mixed with OCD

and

Caring too much

 

But, I'm all I've got and that is good enough.

 As my sister says,

 It is better than good. It is good enough.

 

BUT: (I know, this has more buts than usual, and don't take that the wrong way;))

When thinking about my predicament, my new favorite song comes to mind which is

Brave by Sara Bareilles. Through it all I think of the lyrics "I want to see you be brave" It is going to take me being brave to believe my patience will pay off in the end and I have to be brave to not be in control every second of every day.

Sigh....



 

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

This is a book by Mitch Albom. He also wrote Tuesday's with Morrie. This book was lent to me by a friend today at noon today and I just finished it. And it was amazing. I started reading it on the train ride home and when feeling car sick reluctantly put it away. As I arrived home once again, the pages opened and I was pulled in. My entire life I have loved books. The feeling of the pages between my fingers, carefully opening them so as to not bend the spine. The look of a brand new cover, and the feeling of an adventure waiting to happen. When growing up, I would wake up on Saturday mornings, grab a blanket, and head to the corner of the couch that overlooked the window which held a picturesque view of the park or as I liked to call it,  my front yard. This was how many years passed. I found a love of reading that became an obsession. Anything I could get my hands on was an opportunity to travel to another world and get lost in it. Not only do I love to read, but I read fast. My mom used to hide my books because she felt I was reading too fast and not enjoying the book to the fullest of its potential. I disagreed and would hunt until my precious book was discovered. Today, nothing has changed.
Being in college and in a program that is very work intensive is not conducive to my love of books, but I have still found time for it. My room has overflowing book cases and when surrounded by their pages, my heart is at home. When reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven, I wondered about my own life. This book is about a man who passes away and in heaven, he meets 5 people that have impacted his life and he finds how he impacted them. This book reiterates my belief that everything happens for a reason and people are meant to be in our lives. Reading how small meaningless acts completely alter someone else's life, I again self reflected and wondered who I have touched and who has affected me in some ways I never could have imagined. As people come to mind who have changed my life, I am so blessed to see that my life is what it is because of certain people. This journey has been a hectic crazy one, but I wouldn't change a single day of it.

4 hours is too long for ANYONE

Last semester of school.
38 class days till graduation.
My own class in 3 months.
I can get through this.

Hopefully

 

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I arrive at UVU to sit in a hard plastic chair for four, yes 4, long hours. Now, if you know me at all, I get restless after about 20 minutes so requiring me to sit in the same seat for 240 minutes is just plain torture. This equates to me folding paper hearts, paper balloons, and a paper frog that jumps. I am paying attention, well for the most part, but I try. Effort is what counts right? As I head off to class I hear the words, "Don't fall asleep in class." As usual, my response to this is I make no promises. Learning to be a teacher is hard work. I don't think a lot of people realize how many classes, hours, tears, sweat, effort, go into finally achieving our dream. Its close! So close! but oh how the road twists and turns to get there. BUT you can bet that when the day comes that my teaching certificate is framed in my home office, it'll be worth every minute spent analyzing how many more seconds until class is out. 



Life is. . . mAgNiFiCeNt

Lately, I feel like I have won the lottery. I usually don't condone much to luck, but that is the best way to describe it. I have been just plain lucky. Now don't get me wrong, I believe everything happens for a reason and right now I am being cascaded with blessings. It's amazing how much people comment on your attitude when you can't wipe a smile off of your face (nor do I want it gone) but lately, even through the menial tasks, life is grand.
One word I have always loved is serendipity.

Serendipity means 1. an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident
                               2. good fortune, luck
And currently, life has a certain serendipatiousness about it.

Music is a giant part of my life. I start my day with it, listen to it as I go to school, on my way home from school, at work, and while getting ready for bed. I tend to find music that describes my mood about life and listen to it constantly. Currently, the playlist of my life includes:
Sara Barielles: Brave
Carlos Bertonatti: Smile
Shane Harper: Dancing in the Rain
Olly Murs: Dance with me Tonight & Don't Say Goodnight Yet
Andrew Allen: Loving You Tonight & Sooner

Being a Life Long Learner

I ride front runner every day. It is much better than the bus.
It:
smells better
more room
faster
more room between you and creepy people
you meet AMAZING people on it

Today was interesting. I was on the bus over to the train station and a guy asked me how to spell hoodie. Being a future teacher I told him how and then wondered 'Crap was that the right way to spell it?' But anyway, we arrive at the front runner station and he asks if he can interview me. He is in the ESL program at UVU and had to interview someone in English to see what they knew about his country. He asked what country I thought he was from and he said his country was in a movie. He said it was a little while ago and it was a kids movie. My brain instantly thought Cool Runnings (one of my alllll time favorites) and said Jamaica but this was incorrect. He then said it started with an 'M' and then -lightbulb- Madagascar.

So today I learned a lot about Madagascar:
it has a population of 20 million
2/3 of the country is Christian
they eat rice with every meal
lemurs are EVERYWHERE
it is just like the movie (without the "New York Giants")
they speak Malagasy and French

I also learned I'd like to visit it one day

You mean you're just a. . . girl?

I absolutely love little kids. At the elementary school I will be teaching at, I have been volunteering with their kindergarteners who will be MY future students. They say the cutest things. When I was there last they asked
"Do you have any daughters?"
"No, I'm not a mom yet"
"You don't have any sons either"
"No"
"You mean, you're just a . . . . girl?"
"Hahah Yup, I am just a girl"

It made me realize how much my students will be watching me. I realized how much I people watch throughout the day and like most others, I make assumptions about what I see. What kind of image do I want to be projecting for my students to learn from. I am spending 6 hours a day with these kids and will be helping shape their futures. Its a little scary to think about. I look at my notes I take for classes that are covered in animal drawings and full of different colors. I look at how I dress, my car, my room, and I wonder what a complete stranger would think. Right now, here is what they would think:
This girl loves candy
and pretzel goldfish
Her car is extremely clean (they caught me on a good day)
and who are these adorable little kids that look nothing like her in all these picture frames (niece and nephews)


I wonder if we would change anything if we could see ourselves through the eyes of a stranger for a day, a few hours, a few minutes.

Me? A teacher? Why Not!

Life was so easy in the beginning.

How many more minutes can I stay up?
What time do I have to be home?
Is mac&cheese for dinner?

But as we get older, these questions change.

What do I want to be when I grow up?
What classes should I take?
Who is going to ask me to the dance?
What time do I have to be home? (this applies throughout life)

And then, once again, the questions change.

What do I do about a job?
What do I want to do for the rest of my life?
What will be the coolest job to have?
How much money to I need to make to support myself?
Will I be happy doing this?

The journey to where I am today began in a little tiny farm town outside of Logan, Utah. From there it jumped from city to city and I began to find out who I am. Growing up I had dreams as all little kids do. At first I wanted to be a singer until I realized I had stage fright and that was out of the picture. Then I wanted to be a chef until I watched one too many cooking shows and realized I didn't like being yelled at and that's all that happened to chefs. So once again, back to square one.
Then, that's right, now comes the climax, on the edge of your seats waiting for the epiphany that got me sitting on my bed writing this. I had always babysat and was good at it, or at least the kids always liked me coming so I took that as a sign of accomplishment. My junior year of high school I took an internship class because of the draw of getting out of school an entire period early. I didn't know what to do so I decided to go to an elementary school and then BAM, IT happened. I found my calling. Grading papers? Amazing. Making copies? So fun. New school supplies? I am in HEAVEN.

And here we are. Sitting on my bed just 3 extremely short months away from walking into my very own classroom and being in charge of the intellectual growth of 22 young minds. Am I excited? You better believe it. A little anxious? Just a tad. BUT with my classroom theme being the safari, I am so ready for this adventure.