Patience of a Bomb

Patience, it is NOT one of my strengths. Which you may wonder why in the world I am going into teaching then if I have no patience. It is the strangest thing, I have little patience for most things, but with children, I have all the patience in the world. Weird, I know. Don't ask me to explain it because if I knew why, I would change it so I could have patience with everyone. My entire family and most of my friends know this is something I struggle with everyday. I once had a friend ask me if I was praying for more patience and to that I replied, "Nope. I got tired of being presented with opportunities everyday to show patience and everyday, I would fail. I stopped praying for patience because I didn't want any more opportunities to fail." Sad I know, but the truth.
The past couple days, I have been in a situation that deals strictly with patience, and it is KILLING me. At least once an hour, this situation comes to mind and it is followed with the thought have patience. And that is followed with ugh. I hate patience. When discussing this situation with my sister I got to the part of the story where I said this would help me develop patience and that was met with laughter and uh oh. Its crazy how well she knows me.
All my life I have heard that good things take time and are worth waiting for. I believe in my heart that this is a good thing, so I'll wait. It will be a struggle everyday, but I really hope it will be worth it. I believe myself to be a logical smart person. I don't rush into things and I take the time to think things through. So, if my head and heart believe this is what is right, and good, then I will use every single ounce of self-control I posses (this is a lot actually) and be patient. I will immerse myself in a book that won't really soak in just to give my mind something else to think about.

The bad parts about being Me:

Daydreaming

Overthinking

Overanalyzing

Worrying

Questioning

Thinking about 40 bijillion things at once

Not being able to turn your brain off

Daydreaming

Addiction to chocolate

Addiction to pretzel goldfish

Obsession with socks

Addiction to blankets

Daydreaming

Slight ADD mixed with OCD

and

Caring too much

 

But, I'm all I've got and that is good enough.

 As my sister says,

 It is better than good. It is good enough.

 

BUT: (I know, this has more buts than usual, and don't take that the wrong way;))

When thinking about my predicament, my new favorite song comes to mind which is

Brave by Sara Bareilles. Through it all I think of the lyrics "I want to see you be brave" It is going to take me being brave to believe my patience will pay off in the end and I have to be brave to not be in control every second of every day.

Sigh....